It was quite a shock as I have been focusing on my physical health in a big way for the last 10 years with very healthy eating and I take many supplements daily and I thought that, in the main, I had been controlling my stress well. I had just completed a major move after 30 years in one house to another province with my horses and had gone through a major storm that felt life threatening Having watched friends and relatives close to me suffer with cancer and the effects of chemotherapy I have always had a very strong resistance to the way conventional medicine treats this type of illness. In my mind ‘killing parts of ones body” to cure it does not make too much sense. I am also against fighting disease, it feels to me that I would be fighting my own body whereas I believe that my body is doing the best it can at any given time. So this wake up call from the universe was a major call to reset, to re-examine my life, my beliefs and emotional stance.

In the hospital, I was told in no uncertain terms that the only chance I had was to have chemotherapy and radiation. Doctors words have power and can become a prediction or a hypnotic suggestion. I pretty much told the doctors what to do with their diagnosis and immediately started down my own path of discovery and decided to follow the holistic route back to well-being. I understand that Allopathic Doctors have been trained in their way of treating disease. They only know THEIR way but it is by no means the ONLY way. I know too that most allopathic drugs have side effects and those side effects tend to be treated with more drugs which may cause more side effects. This route was not for me.

Support from my partner in understanding that I was only going to follow the holistic route was vital. While he wanted to know more from the medical doctors on what options were available, he honoured my wishes by not discussing it with me at all. I am so grateful for his ongoing support during this journey. I also had the support of my family, and as my son said when told of my ill health, I am strong, stubborn and determined.

My first impulse was to change the wording of this diagnosis. I merely had a disturbance in the energy field of my body. I had an “energy imbalance” – nothing more and nothing less. (I will continue to refer to it this way going forward) Luckily I have been working in the energy health field for the past 30 years. I know how to work with energy. I know! I had made my physical health a priority over the last 10 years as I had found out that I had some genetic patterns that stopped my liver from functioning well. I knew that underneath this energy imbalance my physical body was basically healthy.

At the time, I also made the decision not to tell many people. I wanted to focus on my health not my illness and I did not want others sending messages that would constantly remind me of what I had been told and its seriousness. I wanted to stay positive. If I had the occasional doubt, I noticed it straight away and changed my thinking. My strong, stubborn and determined mind was such an asset during these times. I spent a lot of time on my own, secluded in my room doing the “emotional work” that I needed to do with regards to the energy imbalance.

I asked myself, Why has this come about? What am I to learn from it? Why did I create this ie, what is the meaning/purpose? What have I been ignoring? – This resulted into a deep dive of my history, my inherited patterns and my daily activities. I have always put others needs before my own (a way of being that I inherited from my mom) working long hours, and stressing about finances being a sole earner and employer of many. I was blessed to have PKP Kinesiology as one of the profound tools to use to get more understanding and was blessed with a few wonderful teachers and students there to help me make sense of it all. In one of the Kinesiology sessions, I had a profound insight where I realised that for my whole life my tears were for others in pain (emotional or physical) and never for myself. I was the “good girl” of the family and didn’t want to upset my parents by showing my emotional pain and emotional sensitivity. I couldn’t protect or save myself as a child and so feeling my own feelings was too hard, so it made sense for me as a child to take on other’s feelings (including my parents feelings) to save them. No wonder I did everything for everyone else and its no wonder I work in the “caring profession”.

Another deep insight was that up until this point in my life I had been in stress mode. Stress was normal for me and just how life is and indeed I thought that everyone felt the same way. I had a long hard look at the energy imbalance and where it was in my body and what were these few proliferating cells telling me? I came up with the following – I was over-eager, working too hard, having to do more in distance places, always on the go, using stress as a way of keeping going, never satisfied but feeling that I always have to work harder, and everything is out there (and not in here).

I spent some time thinking about death and do I really want to live and who am I living for? Others have spoken about wanting to live for their kids and grandchildren. I realised that I needed to live for me! That living for someone else was not going to cut it. This is MY life and what was I going to do with the rest of it? I realised that I had to be the hero in my own journey.

I took charge of my own healing and worked with Integrative doctors, my own knowledge, had many Kinesiology sessions and I did a lot of internal work. After all if I had created this, even subconsciously, I can uncreate it! I am incredibly lucky to have had a whole team of supportive friends, PKP Kinesiology students, and Integrative doctors to turn to and they were so helpful in providing not only support but different options and opinions and lots of encouragement. Daily I visualised daily this wall of loving energy supporting me and indeed had so many calls and messages from those who knew what I was facing, that I felt enveloped in a blanket of care.

I was tested for heavy metals, I checked if my root canal had flared up and also had tests for mould toxins as I understood that any of these could be a contributing factor. I did indeed have a mould toxin as a contributing factor that had affected my immune system.

I read many books. I learned (again) that meditation is vital in creating brain and heart coherence which not only has powerful effects on mental and emotional health, stability and resilience but also on physical health. I meditated for hours every single day and have continued this practice in my daily life.

I reread about epigenetics, something that I actually teach but I needed to remind myself of the power of thought, words and stress chemicals and how they affect epigenetic regulation either positively or negatively and how that in turn affects ones genes. Yes, this kind of energy disturbance runs in my family but it is my thoughts, words and actions or reactions that activate the genetic pattern and not the fact that there is a family history. More importantly I need to focus on the inherited emotional reactions, stress patterns that resulted in over-care for others that I had subconsciously taken on from my mom.

I have worked daily to change my stress responses and in fact I realised that I literally have to change who I have been all my life to someone new and different. This means thinking, being, feeling and acting differently and being aware to catch any old patterns of being or behaving.

I became keenly aware of my body and the incredible work it does every millisecond of every day to just keep me alive. I now spend a lot of time affirming myself, by literally speaking aloud to my body, by thanking my organs, my senses, my blood, my cells etc but most importantly, I feel gratitude deep in my heart, when I speak those words. I also lovingly thanked the energy disturbance for waking me up to my life and to finding joy in being me and not just joy in helping others. I let my body know that I had received the message and that the cells could return to normal activity and stop over-working and I would model that going forward by stopping my pattern of overwork.

Interestingly research has now discovered that gratitude extends the length of telemeres. Telomeres are structures made from DNA sequences and proteins found at the ends of chromosomes and they are required for cell division. An enzyme named telomerase adds bases to the ends of telomeres. With each cell division telomeres can get shorter and as cells divide repeatedly, and if there is not enough telomerase, the telomeres grow shorter and the cells age. Progressive shortening of telomeres affects ones health and lifespan. Gratitude actually allows telomeres to extend again. The body is always listening and the words that one uses have power (and thoughts matter too!) I believe in myself and I believe in my body’s ability to heal. This is what it is designed to do, no matter the challenge.

Every day, I paused to remind myself of the wonderful life that I have. I spent time every day, playing, enjoying, loving, feeling and being present in my life, on this planet, now!

I started holistic therapies. I did Intravenous drips with high dose Vitamin C and other vitamins and minerals, had hyperthermia treatments, intravenous ozone therapy, Sono photo dynamic therapy, mistletoe injections, Infared Sauna, hyperbaric Oxygen therapy, rife therapy and blue and ultra violet intravenous therapy amongst others. I also took about 60 supplements a day. Of course I had no sugar whatsoever, no fruit and no carbs but occasionally had blue berries. The only nod to the medical profession was to take a hormone blocker on the advice of the integrative doctors and also so that my blood tests would be paid for on my hospital plan.

Every day I took notice of what my body was telling me. I looked at my sclera (the white part of your eyes) , the colour and patterns on the soles of my feet, noticing small changes in my heart rate, my breathing, my energy. At first I could walk from my bed to the bathroom and back. I then could make it to the front door without having to stop and catch my breath. Then I could walk all the way to the garden gate. I noticed and celebrated every small gain. All of this contributed to my awareness and how little by little my body was doing what it needed to regain health and well-being. Most importantly I had no negative side effects from any of the holistic integrative treatments and felt progressively better each week. My immune system started to work again and my blood tests were showing improvement each time.

The end result in just two months of treatment and 3 months of supplements – my blood tests were normal! No energy imbalance detected.
What I find hard to understand is that this kind of treatment is not more widely recognised. I had to pay for everything myself, which may not be an option for many. The effects of Chemo and radiation can be hectic for most people and yet if I can recover my health fully, I believe that anyone can, provided they are also willing to work with their emotional reactions, change eating habits and generally look at what true health is.

This has been the most profound journey of my life and one that I would not change. I am extremely grateful for the chance to relook at who I had become and the ability to redefine not only who I am but who I want to be and how I want to live the rest of my life.

In many ways the true challenge begins now, with finding a way to rebalance my energy being the easy part. It can be very easy to fall back into old patterns. Its not so easy to change who I have been or believed I was my whole life. Dedication to myself, to my life, to my joy is an ongoing process that needs practice every single day over and over until it becomes a new habit and I need constant vigilance so that I maintain the changed me going forward. I still find that when I teach a class I jump all in and tend to loose myself and do too much and feel exhausted thereafter. Finding a way to negotiate the need to earn, help, teach and look after myself and my health remains an on-going challenge.

References – good reading
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself – Dr Joe Dispenza
Radical Remission – Kelly A Turner
Biology of Belief – Dr Bruce Lipton
Your DNA is Not Your Destiny – Dr Bruce Dewe

With grateful thanks to:
David Arthur
Dr Roal Golberg
Dr Craige Golding
Dr CP van Eeden
Dr Julienne Fenwick

My teachers, Specialised Kinesiology College teachers – Bronwyn and Ansie
My students who knew about the energy imbalance and supported me
Herman Heckroodt for all the good energy and love sent my way.
Dr Bruce and Joan Dewe for their incredible dedication to PKP and being living examples of using Kinesiology every day.

Regards
Margie Donde (Kin Dip)
Principal
Faculty Trainer for ICPKP

Specialist Wellness Counsellor (ASCHP Registration No SWC23/1992)
(NQF Registration No. 896)

Specialised Kinesiology College South Africa
Wonderkloof Farm, Portion 490,
Farm 811
Tesselaarsdal 7230
Western Cape .
Tel 082 496 6214
www.kinesiologysouthafrica.co.za